“…you know how the weekly checkups start to feel. It’s an exercise in waddling into your appointment solo, breathing as deeply as you can with a mask on, and waiting to hear you’ll be waiting some more. You’re grateful but start to ponder that patience is an overrated virtue.”
– Me, Megan Jensen, at 39 weeks, 2 days (and again at 40 weeks, 2 days)
Ah, the universal look of being 39, 40, or 41+ weeks pregnant.
Truth be told, I’ve been ready for birth since my 37-week appointment to flip the baby, which was successful but almost ended in labor induction.
Happily, my baby boy is doing very well! So well, he’s now seemingly ready to stay put past his due date.
For any of my other due date anticipating mamas (and those whose date has come and gone), you know how the weekly checkups start to feel.
It’s an exercise in waddling into your appointment solo, breathing as deeply as you can with a mask on, and waiting to hear you’ll be waiting some more.
You’re grateful but start to ponder that patience is an overrated virtue.
Accordingly, this week’s 39-week appointment (+ 2 days) went without event. The baby was great, his heart strong, his kicks stronger, and his head still down.
So why was I almost in tears?
No signs of effacement or dilation. Again. And an appointment scheduled for the following week that I anticipate making (at 2 days past my due date). No induction offered until approx. week 41.
Update: It is now Nov. 24th and I did make my appointment. Same updates as last week. I may be writing a blog post about an induction, similar to my experience with an External Version. If I can help make even just one mama less nervous than Google searching these things, it will have all been worth it. Truly! The internet is a scary place! I will tell you like it is but with a loving sense of hope because things always turn out in the end! Plus, the end result here is a healthy baby, and I can’t wait for him to arrive!
My husband met me with the car right out front and could instantly feel me. I was tired, achy, and without realizing it, had been in a bit of a mood all morning.
I do sleep sitting up half the night and spend the other half shifting my hips and back to make my left side work for a precious while at a time, so fatigue may have played a role.
Sound familiar? You are NOT alone, mama! How could you NOT be waiting to go into labor?
You’ve done ALL the things.
The bassinet? Waiting in the bedroom.
The nursery? The only thing left to do is get it picture ready.
The car seat? In the back for so long that your dog is used to it.
The hospital bags? Packed so well in advance you need a new outfit.
The baby books? You’ve read as much as you can contextualize beforehand.
Don’t worry, this blog post isn’t to help you think about 101 other things you should/could/would be doing, because this tired mama can’t even imagine doing more than these 10 things. It’s about what is working for me, and what I think will in turn work for you.
The emphasis is on taking your mind off of expectations, except for the ones that bring you some joy, comfort, or entertainment out of paying attention to! But hey, if you’ve got a rush of energy and would like 101, they’re here for you, and you go, mama!
For the rest of us who find that exercising energy means keeping our bodies in one piece and moving our eyes across a screen without a nap, here are my top 10 ways I’m surviving the long wait until labor starts…
1. Look Up Your Chances of Going Into Labor
Sure, it doesn’t tell you much, but it FEELS like it does! I am absolutely HOOKED on this Labor Probability Calculator. It’s free and super easy to use.
As you can see, my due date is in 5 days. Based on that, a set of statistics came out. Having the baby by the weekend isn’t as likely as I thought! So then I went and customized a bunch of other dates.
I wanted to see what the odds were of having the baby on, before, and after Thanksgiving this year and between now and the 29th, when I will be induced at 41 weeks.
So while my odds are pretty low for my baby to show up on Turkey Day, I’m grateful to see that the odds are in my favor that I will have the baby before having to be induced.
Plus I passed a good 10 minutes looking at this and enjoyed it. 🙂 Win-win.
2. Go Down the Rabbit Hole of Baby Trait Probabilities
While I usually advise putting the Google Machine away, this is an exception! Here are a few things I’ve wondered and looked up:
Will our baby have blue eyes like me or hazel like his dad?
Is he going to be tall like his dad?
Will he be bald since his maternal grandfather is bald?
All of these questions had pages of answers. And digging into them has been so fun!
From what I’ve gathered, the jury is really out on all of them with odds being in favor of one or the other based on which article or study I read!
Guess we’ll just have to wait and see! But it was a wonderful distraction.
3. Do That Thing You’ve Been Procrastinating On
Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those “organize the pantry” pieces of advice. This one has more to do with you.
What is something you’ve been wanting to do but have told yourself you don’t have time for?
Now that you do have some time, the sky is the limit! For me, it is writing this long-form blog, for you, it could be a photo editing project, maybe a DIY holiday wreath for the house, or maybe it is that pantry… just be sure it’s for you!
Procrastinating on things we want to do for ourselves can have its time and place on occasion, but now isn’t one of those times!
Also, if it’s a NEED you’ve been procrastinating on (say to dye your own hair or to pick out some post-partum clothing that will make you feel more like yourself again), do it, mama!
Now is the best time to get in the habit of filling your own cup so that you have what you need for the baby, too.
4. Spend 1:1 Time With Your Husband/Boyfriend/Partner
If you’re struggling to even sit close-ish together on the couch these days or to snuggle at night with your feet over the giant raft that is your pregnancy pillow, you are not alone!
I VERY MUCH MISS being able to hug, slow dance with, cuddle, and just generally be close to my husband.
We’re fortunate that we get to spend a lot of time together, but being this large and uncomfortable, the quality and the closeness of the time has become even more important.
We’ve gotten creative, often finding ways to cuddle, hug and snuggle that look a lot like the picture above, and have found more closeness that way.
I really can’t say enough about how great it feels to get as close to your partner right now as you can, savoring the last bit of time when it’s just the two of you (or without a brand new baby if you already have kids).
Being present also includes my realization that I need to do things like putting my phone away more often while he plays guitar in favor of singing with him… and other small things that become big things in the day-to-day.
Connecting will help you feel even better about the big day, and make having to wait for the baby some more a lot more enjoyable.
5. Look Up Funny Overdue Baby Memes
Around week 20 or so, my mother-in-law shared that my husband had been a late baby. She went into the doctor’s office several days after 40 weeks and they wouldn’t induce her just yet. She went into the parking lot and SOBBED HARD. And this is from a woman who does not cry.
One of the reasons for all the tears? Beyond being extremely uncomfortable, her home phone was being blown up with people asking about the new baby and it was all a lot of pressure.
I wish she’d had some comedic relief to know she’s not alone! Just look up ‘overdue baby funny’ or anything similar and you’ll see so many great options!
From a fake eviction notice to your baby (actually really funny) to what you wish you could say when ANOTHER person asks you when the baby is due, if it has to be a laugh or cry, I say make it a big laugh!
6. Make & Eat The Dang Banana Muffins (Or Other Craving)
Somewhere between not being able to see my feet and feeling like I may burst before I go into labor, I gave my sweet tooth permission to fully show itself.
This isn’t to say I no longer try to eat healthy, especially since most things give me heartburn these days, but I enjoy a good pastry, muffin, cookie, or other splurges. I’m betting you can relate!
Plus, for me, the focus on enjoying a sweet treat helps me rediscover some presence. And so I’ve been indulging myself. I have to say, it feels great to treat myself, and guilt-free, too!
I totally recommend it! If there was ever a time to channel your inner baker and give in to some well-earned sugar, now is the time.
Plus, if you’re up for baking or otherwise making your favorite treats yourself, you are creatively carving out time from what you’d be spending worrying about your due date, so it’s a pretty sweet distraction!
7. Put Instagram Stories Down & Take a Nap
Instagram Comparison-itis is real! I write about the perils of it here. Constant updates from everyone you follow can make it seem like everyone else is doing more than you, faster than you, and better than you.
But while you may see other soon-to-be-due and past-due mamas smiling in short minute or so bursts on Instagram Stories, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t exhausted leading up to or right after those updates.
Plus, we all have good days and bad days in our pregnancy. On good days, I can do what would take me four times the amount of time and effort (and let’s be honest, frustration) to do on a bad day.
The best course of action when you’re tired or just generally done is to SLEEP. Trust me, I’ve tried to fight it and it never works out so well.
Plus, I always wake up feeling so much better when I’ve allowed myself to nap.
The pursuit of perfection and ‘maximizing’ each moment of pregnancy time to get stuff done like there’s a ticking time bomb right behind (or in front of) me just isn’t necessary. As my husband lovingly reminds me. 🙂
If perfectionism is something you struggle with, giving yourself more credit and rewriting the way you talk to yourself is also a worthy pass time. Get a free PDF of my book, “Escaping Perfectionism: Writing Exercises for Healing” here.
8. Pamper Yourself Even With a Pandemic Going On
Pre-pandemic I had some ideas of how my pregnancy would go. I’d get occasional prenatal massages, mani-pedis, acupuncture, and a few other things to pamper myself as my pregnancy progressed.
But finding out I was pregnant right as the pandemic really came to a head in California back in mid-March, none of those ideas were realized. I know my fellow pregnant during a pandemic mamas can relate.
While nail salons and other places have reopened (and then closed, and then reopened), I decided to play it safe. But I still wanted to pamper myself. I am happy to say there are SO many things I learned I can do at home.
Here is a short list of things that have helped me relax/feel more like myself:
- Doing my own gel mani/pedi. I was surprised how much I love Lavender Violets brand gel polish kits and their inexpensive yet awesome curing lamp. I may never go back to a nail salon, seriously. Note: I highly recommend enlisting your husband’s help toward the end of pregnancy. Reaching my own toes was not so relaxing… 🙂
- Soaking in a lavender Epsom salt bath. From sciatic pain to swelling and inflammation, just 20-30 minutes in a warm bath, and I always feel lighter and in a better mood. I recommend Dr. Teals Lavender Epsom Salt, it’s what I’ve been using for the past few weeks and it’s dreamy!
- Stocking Up on Comfy Must-Haves: From slippers and pajamas to a pregnancy ball, I recommend buying a few staple items that will help you throughout each trimester. I listed the tried-and-true essentials that helped me get more comfortable throughout my entire pregnancy here.
- Give Yourself a Massage: While I’m lucky to have an awesome husband, sometimes you just need a good old fashioned shoulder and neck rub on-demand! And that’s where this crazy amazing contraption I found on Amazon comes in. It looks a little silly, but between the heat and the adjustable settings, it will become your new favorite thing, trust me!
- Dye Your Hair Yourself: Of course, not all mamas are comfortable with this, but you’ll be surprised just how much a pop of color in the third trimester will help you feel better! I use eSalon and find that as long as I ventilate the room well (a must while pregnant anyway!), my color doesn’t irritate my enhanced sense of smell or sensitive skin in the slightest and my color is always the perfect red! Plus, if you don’t like it (because hair can take differently during pregnancy), they reformulate it for you. Check out eSalon here. When you click, you’ll be directed to the site using my referral code for friends, thanks for your support of my at-home hair coloring obsession! I know you’ll love it, too!
Be forewarned about these suggestions — you may just find that you can do so many things yourself, you don’t want to go back to paying full price for them. True story. 🙂
9. Stretch or Go On a Walk (Even if It’s Across The Living Room)
My second trimester, I was on fire. Prenatal yoga and barre were what I lived for. It felt great to be that active. Then, I got hit by swelling and aches and pains all over the place.
If you haven’t been very active in your third trimester, especially at this tail end, you are not alone! And it’s more than okay! I was told the best thing I could do for my swelling was rest as much as possible and go on a walk or do light stretches when I felt up to it.
And you know what, some days I don’t feel up to much more than the bare minimum, which includes bouncing a little on this birthing ball, and I let it be enough.
That’s what this section is about. No ‘hey, exercise is important, just do it!’ stuff here because that’s one more expectation placed on you that you don’t need.
My advice is simply to do one small thing every day that feels good to you. That could be a cat/cow yoga pose, a walk to your mailbox, or if you’re feeling really good, a longer yoga sequence or walk around your neighborhood.
The name of the game is doing the amount of movement that feels good. Whatever that looks like for you. And it gets to be enough.
After all, you will be expending plenty of energy soon and the rest feels good because it is good.
10. Take The Time to Journal and Reflect On Your Pregnancy
At the end of my first trimester, I bought a pregnancy and childhood history journal by Promptly Journals. It has been the best investment I’ve ever made. (Plus, it’s under $40, so it’s priceless at a great price.)
Not only does it give me the perfect amount of space to write about my son’s special moments, but there are also spots for pictures, memories, and just about anything else I could think of.
For a super sentimental video showing the journal that tracks the baby from your first trimester to their first 18 years of life, right up to their high school graduation, see the bottom of my Pregnancy Essentials blog post. Just be warned, you will cry. And it’s beautiful. And emotional!
No matter what form your writing takes, even if it’s just into your notes on your phone, the exercise itself will have you living more in the present moment, which is always the most enjoyable place to be.
Final Thoughts on the Final Countdown
You’ve come so far and waited for so long… and the moment is almost here!
While tempting, instead of skipping ahead to the future desired outcome, I’ve found that being in the moment has made the time I am spending THIS PREGNANT much more enjoyable. Plus, it goes by that much faster!
Tell me, did I leave anything out you’d recommend to other mamas? Feel free to comment here or go to the mama forum and share.
And just remember, no matter how many ‘good’ or ‘bad’ pregnancy days in a row you have, you’ve got this! The timing of your baby’s birth will be just right for you and you deserve to enjoy the entire process of getting there.
Because you are perfection, mama! As-is.