You are NOT alone if insomnia has you up at night — and if it doesn’t look nearly this serene. If you’re having pregnancy dreams, or, let’s call a spade a spade — nightmares — not only are you not alone but you’re in good (albeit probably very tired) company!
Here are the types of dreams (mostly bad) this mama has had — and according to research, many of you have had, too. The good news is that they all have one thing in common, that you’re worried about what’s to come because it means that much to you. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Your Baby is Taken Away or Misplaced at Birth
Feeling out of control is a very common fear. Suddenly there’s a little human being you love so much and bringing them into the world is very unpredictable.
I sat up in a cold sweat at 3 am — wide awake.
I immediately clutched my belly, and Finnley (my son) was inside of me kicking, business as usual.
I had just dreamt of the exact opposite. In my very vivid dream, I gave birth to Finnley — and the doctor and nurses gasped, then immediately took him away.
“We’ll call you, wait for a call from our office”, the doctor said.
And he was gone. A week later, and I was still waiting for a call to be reunited with him… I was devastated. And had no way of calling for him.
As it turns out, I am not alone in these types of dreams, and neither are you! Anxiety-based dreams aren’t only normal, they’re to be expected. It turns out that pregnancy changes the way you dream, and the underlying fear isn’t so sinister.
Feeling out of control is a very common fear. Suddenly there’s a little human being you love so much and bringing them into the world is very unpredictable.
My fear of ultimately not being able to have a say in how Finnley comes into the world (if I’ll have to have an emergency C-section, if he will have any complications, etc.) manifested in my dreaming that his fate was out of my hands.
This told me two things: 1) I already love this little boy SO much and 2) Reviewing my latest childbirth book again probably wouldn’t hurt. 🙂
Your Baby is Hurt or in Serious Danger
The good news is that these ‘bad’ dreams may be doing you a favor. By processing your emotions in a safe space, you may just be working through your anxiety while you sleep so that you can feel more present and at peace while awake.
Physical harm is a common nightmare, but it doesn’t mean it’s not one of the scariest! I can personally relate.
I’ve had nightmares since the beginning of my pregnancy ranging from sudden miscarriages (understandable given my history, but no less scary and shocking) to the gradual deflating of my belly threatening the baby’s health and so many things in between.
Especially for any mamas-to-be who have experienced pregnancy loss like me, it makes so much sense that these nightmares are the most vivid.
But even without this history, worrying about harm coming to the baby isn’t only normal, it happens a lot, according to this HuffPost article.
The good news is that these ‘bad’ dreams may be doing you a favor. By processing your emotions in a safe space, you may just be working through your anxiety while you sleep so that you can feel more present and at peace while awake.
Plus, because you are remembering more of your dreams these days, it can help you talk to your partner about your fears. I promise they dissipate when you bring them to light and that bad dreams become less distressing.
Your Partner is Hurt or Disappears
Also, know that these fears and the amount of anxiety they cause show you just how deeply you love and rely on your partner.
I’ve woken up crying, truly fearing that something has happened to my husband. I’ll take something small, like a headache he has during the day, and bury it deep in my subconscious until my sleeping mind presents a very scary dream that something horrible has happened.
Fortunately, my mind does not show me things, giving me a phone call or instead waking me up with a sinking feeling, but unfortunately, it doesn’t make it any less terrifying.
Having these distressing thoughts, asleep or not, has stressed countless women out while pregnant and postpartum, so you are not alone. Read hundreds of fears here if they help you feel less alone.
If you are still feeling really vulnerable and/or would like to ask other mamas-to-be specific questions in a safe space, see our community’s Mama Forum.
Also, know that these fears and the amount of anxiety they cause show you just how deeply you love and rely on your partner. It’s also possible that you’re afraid being parents will change your relationship. And it will, but for the best as long as you work through things together.
Keep the faith! You have an incredible gift coming your way and sleepless nights won’t ever change that. So sleep while you can.
Vivid Images of Labor & Delivery
Being excited to meet the baby is just as common as the fear of being out of control during pregnancy, and they can go hand-in-hand. Much like real life.
I’ve been wheeled into C-Sections half a dozen times. And I don’t know why at a surface level, because I have had abdominal surgery and am not afraid of the C-Section itself.
In fact, many of these dreams end in me holding my son, my husband right beside us, both of us very happy. This is common, too, according to that same HuffPost article.
Being excited to meet the baby is just as common as the fear of being out of control during pregnancy, and they can go hand-in-hand. Much like real life.
And as long as you’re as prepared as you feel you need to be, from having a detailed birthing plan to simply knowing your preferences and some breathing techniques, there’s no need to fear!
This Mama’s Final Thoughts on Pregnancy Dreams
By looking a little deeper into even the scariest dreams, you may find that your fears aren’t really anything to worry about at all.
Whether you’re in your first, second, or third trimester, you’re sleeping like a baby, or you can’t sleep for the life of you, your dreams are there FOR you.
By looking a little deeper into even the scariest dreams, you may find that your fears aren’t really anything to worry about at all. Especially if you resist the urge to search the web for other things to be afraid of (been there, done that).
Read about the importance of putting the Google machine down.
In the meantime, know you’re not alone and can come back to this post or community at any time for reassurance that you’re doing more than enough, and are enough!
Because you are Perfection, Mama. As-is!