Cold [Strong] Coffee, School Evaluations, & Bathtime Success
The good days might feel outnumbered, but they are never outweighed. They are our beacons of hope, lighting our way through the choppy waters of loving, parenting, and advocating for neurodivergent kids.
“Neurodivergent parenting: ‘In the journey of raising neurodivergent kids, it’s not just about the destination but the beauty found in every step of the way.’ 🌈
Hey there, mama friends!
There’s nothing quite like sipping a three-hour-old cold cup of coffee from a 5 AM wakeup with your Neurodivergent kids sweetly snuggled into a blanket in the background to make the point that it has been a rollercoaster ride over here lately. [This morning was a masterclass in parenting resilience and finding joy in parenting, all while fumbling around in the dark backseat of the car for a bottle, any bottle…]
On Friday, Finnley first met with the school district about his speech and developmental delays. I was so impressed at how organized this school district is! He was evaluated by the school psychologist, nurse, and other staff, all in the same meeting while his Dad and I filled out a questionnaire. I am so proud of how quickly Finnley warmed up to everyone! He smiled the entire time while being surrounded by five strangers. He loved the attention and applause and only got sensory overload and frustrated at the end, throwing toy bags on the ground. I mark it a success.
But talk about a whirlwind of emotions! I’ll feel ready to dive deep into the details soon, including our upcoming meeting with a related center for a potential diagnosis. No matter the label, whether we are said to be parenting a child with autism or parenting a child with ADHD [or suspected ADHD as he’s young], Finnley is an extremely loved little boy with a bright future ahead of him!
But for now, we’re in this limbo, waiting [as patiently as possible] for the results next month (November 13, to be exact). Ultimately, with a diagnosis, whether ADHD or on the autism spectrum, support will be available in new ways. I have no doubt that, just like me, for all of you mamas out there going through the journey of parenting neurodiverse kids, it feels like one big hurry-up-and-wait game. When I can remember to do so, I challenge myself to be still so I don’t miss the actual living within that waiting space.
Because it’s often in the waiting that the present has the most significant gifts for us! On Friday night, on top of the joy of his newfound liking for baths [a huge victory], Finnley surprised me with some very sudden awareness that warmed my heart AND gave his Dad and me a much-needed laugh!
Let me acknowledge his growth from the get-go. Finnley used to fear the bath because he associated it with washing his hair after a traumatic haircut session [sensory processing is challenging, but our little man powered through it]. But he is a resilient little guy, too, and now treats it much like the swimming pool, just with warmer water.
So we’re going through our [wonderfully] routine bath, and suddenly Finnley stands up, grins ear to ear, and proudly declares, “I pee!” And sure enough, he was! Almost as if answering my wonder if it was a fluke, he did it again, his eyes sparkling with victory.
I called in Mike, my husband, to witness the magic, and we all clapped and cheered, celebrating this seemingly simple feat that meant the world to us. Potty training felt all but moot as this had been a roadblock we’d had yet to figure out. Sure, there was a moment of sensory overload, and Finnley asked us to stop because it got too loud, but you know what? He was SO HAPPY with himself! And his proud parents? Well, we couldn’t stop beaming.
This experience reminded me of a valuable lesson: find joy in every victory and recognize the effort and progress made, no matter how ‘small’ or ‘everyday’ it may seem, because these are the big things. These moments make life feel meaningful and purposeful; the moment doesn’t have to be perfect for this to be true. [What a load of pressure this takes off things, doesn’t it?]
While the rest of the night was challenging, intermittently echoing with sounds of frustration and meltdowns for unknown reasons, there was still love amid the chaos. There were still hugs and laughter. There was still joy. And as I finish my cold cup of coffee another hour later, I smile.
Because these experiences, both the tough and the tender, shape our story. They remind us of our incredible strength and the boundless potential within our children. The good days might feel outnumbered, but they are never outweighed. They are our beacons of hope, lighting our way through the choppy waters of loving, parenting, and advocating for neurodivergent kids. As for the shore it’s leading to? Finnley will happily skip across its soft sand with a big bucket of ocean water and a matching smile.
In summary, dear mamas, let’s seize these big and small victories as an inclusive parenting community. Neurodivergent kids are not too stressful but joyful to have. Let’s honor the laughter, the hugs, and the love that fill our homes, even on the most challenging nights. We are resilient. We are strong. We are enough.
I invite you to share your stories, too. Let’s create a space where we can revel in the triumphs, acknowledge the struggles, and find solace in the shared experiences of motherhood. Whether you’re seeking articles about supportive parenting for neurodiverse families, a supportive parenting network, or simply a place to find joy in parenting that genuinely celebrates neurodivergent kids and neurodiversity in parenthood, you’re in the right place.
Sending so much love your way!
Megan 💖
P.S. Your stories, your triumphs, and, of course, your challenges are all cherished here. Please feel free to reach out to me! Let’s embrace everyday victories on our imperfectly perfect journey. Remember, you’re perfection, mama, just as you are.